Turns out that Tim Hortons, that place in Canada where I pretend that I'm one of them with a double-double, is named after a hockey guy. Now, poor Tim Horton didn't get a chance to retire from the NHL due to a car accident, but if he had then he would have probably just lived it up on the coffee and donuts money. John Elway has car dealerships and that commentator guy with the hair on Altitude, and now Versus, was apparently a hockey player. God, it's killing me: who is he? It's like a blond mullet and he look like he's had some cosmetic work done because I would have sworn that he retired in the 80s.
Anyway, I watched the final two games of the post-season on tv even though I'd been there. Peter McNab mentioned that a few players may have just played their last game since contracts aren't finalized and they're old farts. But Mr. McNab is classy enough not to call anybody an old fart on television. Mainly, he mentioned Joe Sakic. But then he also mentioned Peter Forsberg, which I didn't get because didn't we just acquire his ass?
The Avalanche will just deal with it if their captain, or Captain (if it's like a rank that I should capitalize), quits. But what he he do with himself? I can't find any sort of website that says as a big ole list what pro athletes do with themselves after they retire. They don't exactly get put out to pasture. I'm not being eaten alive with worry because I've only been a fan for least than half a season. I'm not going to mis him or nothing, but I am curious: what will Sakic do? Does he know what he's going to do?
If I may offer some suggestions, Mr. Sakic:
* start a country club that allows anyone with $150,000 to join (worked for Trump)
* start tanning weekly and hang with Johnny Rotten in Hollywood
* have a 5 year bender before cleaning up and joining the ranks of colour analysts
* run for political office
* get US citizenship and run for one of our political offices!
I like the last the best. That would be cool because I think Joe Sakic is tres classy.
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