I do love hockey in part because of the sanctioned violence. Sorry, I work custonmer service so I have a lot of pent-up rage, okay? However, even hockey has rules so when you fight... or slash or stab or bite or tackle, you have to go to the penalty box. I still need to investigate as to whether hockey justice is as crazy on brothers as the US justice system so that'll be another post.
There's a player stat that tells you how long somebody has been in the box for any given period of time (game, season, lifetime). They call it PIM, and no I don't know why there's an I in it. Before I found the stat and deciphered it, with a fucking decoder ring practically, I noticed that the Avs have a "bad" player. There's a red-headed snaggled-toothed mofo who can behave himself about as long as a two year old with ADHD can follow directions. His name is Cody McLeod, and he's dreamy. (Le sigh.)
Some commentator was talking during one of the last few games (as they are paid to do) and mentioned that this kid leads all NHL rookies in PIM this season. I don't know if they give an award for that, but my guess is not. They probably don't want to encourage such reckless unsportsmanlike conduct. If I had the talent I'd make him an award, but I don't and I'm okay with that. However I am witty as allgetout, so I can title him. I propose that #55 Cody McLeod now be called "PIMp Mack Loud!" but everybody has to remember to say it in that really obnoxious crunk style.
Oh, and a note: I do think PIMp Mack Loud! might genuinely be a crazy off-his-meds mofo, so you might not want to say it to his face. Just a thought.
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